Generated Title: McKinsey's AI Snake Oil: Still Peddling Dreams in a Burning World

Alright, let's get one thing straight: I'm so sick of McKinsey & Company.

The "Precision" Hustle

This latest "Global Banking Annual Review 2025" is a joke. "Why precision, not heft, defines the future of banking"? Give me a break. It's the same old song and dance: McKinsey trying to sell their overpriced "expertise" to banks who are too clueless to see they're being fleeced. It's like watching a used car salesman try to convince you that a beat-up Pinto is a luxury vehicle.

And the AI angle? Please. They're pushing AI solutions like it's the magic bullet for all of banking's problems, calling it a "double-edged sword." No, McKinsey, it's a single-edged sword, and the sharp end is pointing right at the banks who are dumb enough to buy into this crap. They'll automate everything, fire all the humans, and then wonder why their customers are jumping ship.

Then there's this gem: "AI revolutionises everything" vs. "AI never fully scales." What kind of garbage analysis is that? It's like they threw a bunch of darts at a board and then wrote a report based on where they landed. And they charge companies for this? Seriously?

The math in this McKinsey report is offcourse suspect. The numbers don't even add up! 80% here, "<5%" there... Either they're hiding something, or they just suck at basic arithmetic. Maybe they should hire an AI to do their calculations for them. Oh wait, they're selling AI, not using it themselves. I get it now.

The Outcome-Based Grift

Okay, so McKinsey is "rethinking the nature of the work that we do," according to some executive quoted by Business Insider. What that really means is they're trying to find new ways to squeeze money out of their clients. Now they're doing "performance-based arrangements," where their fee is tied to the "outcome" they deliver.

Sounds great, right? Except who decides what a "successful outcome" is? McKinsey? The client who's already drinking the McKinsey Kool-Aid? Let's be real, it's just another way for them to game the system and get paid regardless of whether they actually deliver any real value. It's like a casino – the house always wins.

Kate Smaje, global leader of technology and AI at McKinsey, says clients appreciate them saying, "Hey, look, your scorecard with your board is our scorecard, and we're both successful when this transformation works, so let's share in the upside." Translation: "We're going to tie our success to your already unrealistic targets, and if you fail, we'll just blame it on something else and still get paid."

And less than 20% of their work is "straight strategy advice" now? So what are they doing, exactly? Deep implementation expertise? Multi-year transformation projects? Sounds like a recipe for endless billable hours and zero accountability.

But wait, are we really supposed to believe that McKinsey is now a "genuine partner" and not a "supplier" or "vendor?" That's rich. They're a business, not your buddy. They're there to make money, plain and simple.

CFOs in Crisis Mode

Meanwhile, CFOs are "protecting the downside" because they're terrified of the future, according to another McKinsey exec. No duh. Between geopolitical uncertainty, economic instability, and the looming threat of AI taking everyone's jobs, who isn't scared?

But here's the kicker: even in the face of all this chaos, companies are still setting "static" budgets. Why? Because McKinsey says it's a "valuable and important practice." So, even though the world is changing faster than ever before, we're still stuck with outdated budgeting processes because some consultant told us to. Makes perfect sense.

I'm sorry, but this whole thing just makes me want to scream. We're living in a world on fire, and McKinsey is selling us AI snake oil and telling us everything is going to be okay.

Still Lining Their Pockets

McKinsey & Company ain't solving problems; they're profiting off of them.